


Go to Sleep

by MurderouslyAdorkable



Series: Swan Queen Week Summer 2015 [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, So much angst, Swan Queen Week 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4331886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderouslyAdorkable/pseuds/MurderouslyAdorkable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Swan Queen Week 2015, Day One: Bed Sharing. </p><p>Set in an ambiguous point in Season Five where Emma isn't the Dark One anymore. Plagued by nightmares she's exiled herself in an effort to keep everyone else from realizing how bad her dreams have gotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go to Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Better late than never, I guess. But here we are. Yay! 
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own anything here. It's all Disney, ABC, and the creators of this show that I (cutelikemurder of the Fuzzy Cheese Team) can't stop watching.

The Darkness might be gone, but the damage it left in it's wake lingered like the pain from old wounds that never quite healed right. No one in Storybrooke was immune. Especially Emma who had been the most changed by the experience. Because that was thing about the Darkness, the moment you embraced it was the moment you were lost to it. And although her family had found her eventually, there were still bits of herself that were gone, parts of her that she would never get back.

 

Her darkened heart was all the proof she needed. She wasn't the same. She'd never be the same.

 

Then there were the nightmares. Night terrors was what Archie called them. He even fed her some shrink B.S. about it being a completely normal and perfectly natural reaction to past trauma and how they should fade in time. But it had been weeks and they hadn't gone away. And besides, what was completely normal about ripping people's hearts out and watching them crumble to dust in her hands? What was perfectly natural trying to hurt everyone that ever cared about her?

 

The memories of her sins didn't fade. Why would the nightmares go away? Maybe this was her punishment. And if it was she deserved a lot worse.

 

Which is probably why she took to sleeping in her car at night. She didn't deserve a home, a family, parents that loved her and didn't judge her. Even after everything, even after Emma came after David and Mary Margaret the way she did, they still embraced her. They still loved her.

 

She didn't deserve any of it.

 

Sleeping in the bug ensured that at least little Neal would get a full night's rest and wouldn't get woken up by his big sis reliving her evil deeds over and over again in technicolor. Sure, her parents would worry, they may even go look for her, which was why she wasn't sleeping down at the station or at the Inn, but eventually they'd understand she was doing this for them too. For their safety.

 

So she parked the yellow bug near the spot where Regina had first taken her to help her control her gifts. It was the first time since discovering she had magic that she didn't feel like a freak or a monster. And she needed to get a bit of that back if she was going to be at all there for her son. Henry needed her now more than ever and she was just useless to him like this.

 

Coming to the one of the first places she felt like she had control over her life, her fate, it helped. It relaxed her enough that even in the cramped front seat of her car, Emma could attempt sleep.

 

Her eyes fluttered shut and she sank into a restless sleep. Because that's always when the Darkness came for her. When she was vulnerable. However before the nightmare could take form, Emma was awoken to a soft rapping on her window. She was sure it was might to be a gentle nudge, but her reaction was all but that. She snapped up, suddenly alert and alarmed until she realized where she was, and who was standing outside her car.

 

“Regina,” Emma said, as she rolled down her window. “What the hell are you doing out here?” Regina arched an eyebrow at her and Emma quick amended her greeting. “I'm sorry. I just mean, it's freezing. It might snow. What are you doing out here?”

 

That at least softened her expression. Emma wasn't up for another fight. Not tonight. Probably not ever again. She just felt so utterly defeated. After everything that happened she didn't feel like much of a savior, or a hero, or even a remotely good person.

 

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” was all she said.

 

Emma sighed. “I can't sleep. I have...” She couldn't bring herself to admit it to Regina. She didn't know why. But that it was important that Regina not know about her nightmares. “I just can't sleep.”

 

“You're still having nightmares,” Regina said with a knowing nod.

 

Emma meet her oddly concerned gaze and shook her head. “Mary Margaret told you.”

 

She watched Regina's lips quirk with a mild sneer. “Well your mother isn't known for her ability to keep secrets, dear.”

 

Emma groaned. “I just don't want anyone to make a big deal out of this. I'm fine.”

 

“You're sleeping in a tin can in the dead of winter, Miss Swan,” Regina replied. “I would say you are most certainly not fine.” She paused and her tone turn a gentle turn. “And with good reason. What you've been through, Emma... I'm surprised you're doing as well as you are.”

 

Coming from Regina that meant something. She didn't give out kind words easily. And usually they were reserved for Henry. Only a handful of times did Regina turn that kindness toward Emma. And usually only when things were dire.

 

“Am I really doing that bad?”

 

Regina frowned. “Miss Swan just get out of the car.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I will not have the mother of my son sleeping in her car like some vagabond,” was all Regina would say.

 

At least that made Emma smile. She didn't want to. But Regina always had a way of tearing Emma's walls down. It made her feel almost like herself again.

 

Almost.

 

“You're not going to let this go until I come with you,” Emma said.

 

Regina grinned. “Finally, after all of these years you're starting to understand.”

 

Emma just rolled hers eyes and got out of the car. There was no point in fighting Regina. Besides, she was too tired. And although she'd never admit it, Emma was grateful she wasn't going to have another nearly-sleepless night in her bug.

 

They rode to Regina's in silence and Emma couldn't be more thankful for it. If it had been one of her parents in the driver seat they'd try to get her to talk about it, all of it, and she wasn't ready to relive those dark days. Regina seemed to understand and never pressed her. Maybe she'd get there. But it would be on her own time, on her own terms.

 

It wasn't until Regina showed Emma to a guest room already made up for her did she say a word to the woman that in many ways had saved her.

 

“Regina...” Her voice was quiet. Just barely above a whisper. “How did you know where to find me?”

 

Regina took a moment before she spoke. “I would like to say that like your insufferable parents you are utterly predictable. But that isn't the truth in this case. It was Henry...”

 

“Does he know---”

 

With a wave her hand, Regina silenced Emma before she could question her. “Henry wasn't active in finding you. What I mean is that like Henry, you seek sanctuary in familiar places when you feel lost. For Henry it was his castle. For you it's where you first learned to control your gifts.”

 

She said those words as if it was nothing when it meant everything. Emma didn't know how to respond so she hung her head and muttered, “Thanks.”

 

“You're welcome, Emma.” Regina smiled, warmly. “Now get some rest. You deserve it.”

 

Emma tried to rest. She even managed to close her eyes and relax. But as soon as sleep took hold the dreams resurfaced and soon she had shoot straight up in bed, breathing heavily and trying to shake the nightmare from her memory.

 

“Emma?”

 

That had startled her. But as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she was relieved that it was just Regina.

 

“I’m sorry… Did I wake you?”

 

Regina was sitting in a chair next to the bed, her brow creased with worry. How long had she been there?

 

She shook her head at Emma’s question. “No… I… I needed to make sure you were okay. You had another nightmare, didn’t you?”

 

Emma nodded. 

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Emma shook her head.

 

“Okay… Go back to bed, Emma.”

 

“Are you going to sit here all night?”

 

A soft smile graced Regina’s features. “If I have to.”

 

“Regina...”

 

And with another graceful flourish Emma was silenced.

 

“You’re not alone anymore, Miss Swan,” Regina told her.

 

Emma sighed. “Regina…”

 

“Miss Swan, allow me to finish.” She moved to foot of the bed, swatting at Emma’s feet until she made room (despite the bed being enormous and there being plenty of space). “Since you’ve gotten to Storybrooke you have been everything anyone has asked you to be; mother, daughter, savior… Dark One… You’ve been fighting for everyone, protecting everyone without asking anything in return. It’s long overdue that someone watched over you.”

 

“Regina, you don’t owe me anything,” Emma replied.

 

Regina shook her head. “You’re right. I don’t owe you anything… I owe you **_everything_** , Emma.”

 

Emma smiled. “You’re such a sap.”

 

The former Evil Queen rolled her eyes. “Move over.”

 

“What?”

 

“Emma, that chair isn’t a suitable bed for anyone,” Regina replied. “I’m not leaving you alone tonight so I don’t see any other option. Do you?”

 

“No… But…”

 

“Just go to sleep, Emma…”

 

“God, you’re bossy,” Emma groaned as she laid back down. “Anyone ever tell you’re bossy?”

 

“Yes, but few rarely live to tell the tale,” Regina admitted in a way that it was hard to tell if she was joking or not. “Go to sleep, Emma.”

 

“Fine…”

 

Silence befell between them but Emma started to toss and turn, restlessly. Regina allowed her a few extra movement before she said something. “Emma Swan. Go. To. Sleep.”

 

“Regina?”

 

“Yes, Emma?”

 

“Are you going to be here when I wake up?”

 

“It depends.”

 

“On what?”

 

“On if you snore.”

 

“I don’t.”

 

“Then I’ll be here.”

 

“Regina?”

 

“What is it now, Swan?”

 

“Thank you.” 

 

And with that Emma drifted into a dreamless but at least restful sleep next to the last person she’d think she’d ever share a bed with. Regina Mills. Her savior.  


**Author's Note:**

> If you want to follow us we're fuzzycheeseproductions on tumblr.
> 
> And comments makes us happy pandas :D


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